It seems weird that this is my new life, not because of now different it is but because of how easy I have settled in to it.  The new manners and customs are second nature now and I'm not homesick at all.  I've gotten past the phase where everything is new and interesting and its not like everything is perfect (I still despise the bus, early mornings' and school on Saturday).  But everything i do here fells like its always been that way.  An example is I spent most of may conversations straining to barely understand and that just part of learning a new language but when reminisce about hanging out with friends back home i think " how was I ever able to say I have no clue what those words are, oh wait I could talk to my friends in English DUH".
Ive started to have little moments where I think in Italian without continuous effort.  My current example of this is a story about where my teachers fail to communicate with me because they insist on speaking terrible English instead of Italian. So I've told this story to my host brother and parents and my friends, and all of these time in Italian with a few quotes English, then im telling my mom this same story and Im like wait how the hell does this part of in English. 

The things I miss so far

My Car, I hate having to regress to taking the bus
Mexican food, specifically chips and salsa and Chipolte burritos which were stapes of my summer
Knowing the city, I have way to many times where I'm thinking where the hell am I, I'll just keep walking
All of my favorite TV shows, I've gotten over the fact of barely understanding the tv but they dont have all the shows I loved back in the States
Netflix and Pandora, Stupid "licensing constraints"
BBQ sauce
Surfing

Why the hell am I here

Why am I here?  Not In the existentialist sense; but, why did I come on this adventure.  I’ve been asked that so many times; why did I want to go on exchange, how could I leave my home and my friends for a year, why did I choose Italy, and I’ve asked myself the same questions so many times, especially over the last 3 weeks. 

I’ve answered so many ways: I want to learn a new language, I’ll get to experience another culture, I can travel more and see the world, I want to meet new people, to party hard duh, and this is my only chance to do something like this.  Maybe it’s because I didn’t get in my dream colleges and want to apply again or I’m just not ready for college and I am using this as an escape route.  Did I think I'd find something here I could not find In California or I'd learn more about myself  here and really grow up.  Was I just so sick of my home town that I wanted a drastic change or did I think I needed to travel across the globe to escape my parents(and If you're wondering, ten thousand kilometers Is not far enough). 

All of these are partially the answer but I think an answer lies deeper that I’ll never really know for sure.

But I've got do wonder, why would I ever make such a massive change in my life If I didn't even know why I was doing It.  Maybe it’s cause we never really know why we do what we do.  But more likely it’s simply... Why the Hell Not.

I know that as I sit here writing college apps about myself I don't have a really answer to even tell myself let alone others.  I know I am learning about a culture and a language, I did want to get away from my town and my parents--but for one I know I’ll never escape either they have made me who I am and additionally I now have another set of parents quite similar and a town that was not the drastic change I was hoping for.  I do think I could have gone to college but I know in this year I'll grow up a lot more then I would have in college and it is significantly cheaper.  Also getting to apply again to my top schools turned out to be a much bigger bonus then I had expected because In 3 weeks I have so many more answers for the applications then I did a year ago it’s astounding. 

At one point I was helping my host brother with basic calculus and had no clue want I was doing and started to think that I was already for getting the things I and learned and would be worse off waiting a year to go to college and I thought this year might be a waste.  but then I realized that In this year the growing up that Is happening will me magnitudes greater than that that would happen at a year of college and quite a bit cheaper.  additionally I may not be learning 3 dimensional calculus but Instead I’m learning skills I’d never learn without this, I’ve learned how to adapt to new situations, deal with different types of people and I’m surprised how well I can tell a story or order food with just hand gestures.  I’ve made friends with little more than a smile and a few laughs.  I know I can travel across the world on my own and over all I see that when things get hard I won’t only survive I can thrive.  I know that skills and confidence I have and will gain from this experience will far outweigh any negative or stupid facts Ill for get before college. 

This is kind of my rough draft for a college essay, now I just have to cut it down by 2000 characters.